The World Has Won

[JST]

It’s been happening for a while now, but I don’t think we appreciated that 2018 would really be the last year of the performance manual family car. Certainly I didn’t, not really. I thought there’d always be *some* option for the diehard three pedal fan, that someone, somewhere would keep the fire burning.

But, no. As I look around for options to replace the VW (goddamn that car and all of its offspring, forever), I see...nothing.

Performance 4 doors? Nope. Nary a one. They are all gone. And no, the STI doesn’t count, and VW is dead to me, and a four cylinder Genesis? Please.

Performance coupes with real back seats? The M2, I guess. The M4, for as long as those are available. Otherwise...zip. Nada.

I should have bought an SS or an M5 or an M3 while those were still available. Even an ATS-V. Or a prior gen S4. Something. Now I’m stuck looking at used car ads for unicorns where dealers seem to delight in calling flappy paddle gearboxes “manuals.” As if.

So. Not sure where this leaves me. Maybe just knuckling under and leaving this whole “enthusiast” thing behind? I can’t get excited about slushbox or flappy paddle performance cars. I tried to like the Giulia. I really did. But I just can’t get past the transmission knowing better than I do—or thinking it does. And all of the ZF 8 speeds out there just feel kludgy and gross after the Tesla.

Maybe I’ll spend the money on an M2 if I can find one, as the last hurrah. Like buying a ticket on the SS United States, it will be the last gasp of a dying age.