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Old 09-10-2009, 11:20 AM   #1
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Forgive me, Father...

So, street racing is never a good idea, there's no excuse for it, etc.

Thus, we have to street race only in hypotheticals. Hypothetically, imagine a jackass driving a Mercury Marauder with loud pipes weaving in and out of traffic on a Saturday morning. Imagine said jackass pulling up at a stoplight next to a Mini Cooper, driven by someone who vaguely recalls that the Marauder's main claim to fame (other than this one's maroon paint) is its ego's ability to write checks that its body cannot cash.

Imagine the look on the Marauder driver's face when he gets not just beat but kind of whipped by the little 1600 cc box on his left, despite a high-effort start that results in a bark of the meaty rears (unfortunately, the Marauder's distinct lack of go makes any additional display impossible).

Ah, imagination is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Last edited by JST; 09-10-2009 at 11:41 AM.
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:26 AM   #2
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Excellent.
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:38 AM   #3
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* Or something to that effect.
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:45 AM   #4
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Nice.
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:50 AM   #5
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:52 AM   #6
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The funny thing is that, hypothetically, the Mini can bark its tires going into second nearly as much as the Marauder can leaving the line.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:02 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JST View Post
The funny thing is that, hypothetically, the Mini can bark its tires going into second nearly as much as the Marauder can leaving the line.


Well, in all fairness, there is that little RWD/FWD weight transfer difference.
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:05 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JST View Post
The funny thing is that, hypothetically, the Mini can bark its tires going into second nearly as much as the Marauder can leaving the line.
I used to do that in my 1991 Civic DX Hatchback. I think that engine made all of 91HP/89 torque
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:08 PM   #9
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The Marauder always makes me laugh. It's like a redneck M5, only it doesn't perform like one, yet everyone who drives one around here is a burly looking guy who looks all bad ass and acts as though it does. By the similarly annoying look and attitude, it makes me wonder if it's off-duty cops who own them and think they are just as fast as their awesome police interceptors.
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Old 09-10-2009, 02:54 PM   #10
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Hypothetically speaking white 540 wagons were great at doing this against mullets in mustangs too.
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