In process with this with the older one. She is not very inclined towards driving, spatial awareness is not her strong suit, etc, etc, etc.
Here, kids need 30 hours credentialed classroom instruction, six hours on-road instruction with a credentialed instructor, 60 hours on-road "practice" driving with a driver 21 or over with at least three years experience (not including the six hours of instruction), 10 of which must be at night. They have to hold the learners for nine months before they can get a provisional license. First eligible for the learners at 15y 9mo
I taught her the basic mechanics of driving at her speed. A bunch of time in parking lots before eventually hitting the road. She also spent a little time in parking lots with my wife, but almost all of it was with me. We graduated from parking lots to her driving within the neighborhood (all residential side streets, most without markings). Eventually that eased into driving on real roads. She's more comfortable with me in the car than my wife and we try new things before she does them with my wife in the car. I think we're up to about 30 hours now and expect to knock out the rest pretty quickly.
In September (next time one is local), I'm going to have her do a
Tire Rack Street Survival School
Originally, the plan was for also learn how to drive a stick and I was going to enlist a friend to do that part, but I think we're going to add learning that later and I think she can do that with me jsut fine.
When the 15yo gets her learner's permit this winter, we'll do the same with her, but much more quickly, I'm sure. And she'll learn to drive a stick almost immediately.
Even though kids generally aren't as into the idea of driving as we were, there are still kids that take to it more easily and some that have to work at it more than others. Some parents are better instructors than others, particularly with driving. Also, some parent/child relationships are well suited to driving instruction and some are not.
I think it works out with my kids and me pretty well. Not so much with my wife. I exude calmness and I don't freak out externally when you're about to drop two wheels into the dirt. Some parents, when trying to tell their child to turn right 1/4 mile ahead on a 35mph street, sound to the kid like the world is about to end and it doesn't get much better from there without some adjustments.
If the kid gets stressed by the parent being in the car, it may be best to find someone else to help. If the parent gets stressed...well, the parent is going to get stressed. If they can't hide it reasonably well, it may be best to find someone else.