Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan
I understand you don’t relate but I get incredible pleasure and enjoyment being able to provide nice things for my wife and kids, nothing in my mind is better ...
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For me - it is not a matter of relating... I relate very well on this item. And what you said touched a nerve with me - sorry for the novel that follows, but I have some experience with this - kind of a controlled experiment if you want to think of it that way...
My parents had three kids.
I am the oldest. The youngest was born several years later than the first two. I remember growing up and being very aware that we had to count our pennies (kinda) as my dad's business was taking a fair bit of our family resources. We had chores around the house and worked down at the office (both after school and during summer and... all that). I worked even during my college summers...
But things were getting better.....
By the time my youngest brother was in his mid teens (with the two of us older kids either finished or nearly finished with college), my fathers business was becoming successful and my parents had the ability to 'spoil' my youngest brother - and they did. One thing led to another and led to another and... well - you may recall we lost him a couple of years ago to alcoholism.
My parents regretted how they changed the way they parented - they thought that by giving the child 'things' - they were being good parents.
Us two older kids - we worked for the company. Sometimes we got paid - sometimes we didn't. But - I had a car, my tuition was paid - and all that. Oh - the car was old (yes, the Mustang - but that was a $2000 car then).
The youngest - he had an entitlement mindset and complained when he had things asked of him, he got a new truck and had my father co-sign his mortgage (two of them actually) after he failed out of college and started working for the company.
There is an analogy in life that I often use at work -
If I give you a fish - you are fed for today. If I teach you to fish, you are fed for life.
My youngest brother always angled his way to have things done for him - and that came to a crashing final end. And before that - my middle brother (who runs the business now) had to fire the youngest one due he just couldn't get past expecting that whatever happens, someone will bail him out. There are no Mulligan's in life - we kept telling him... But the bottle had taken hold by that time and.... Sucks, just sucks....
For the two of us older kids - it was like watching the ultimate slow motion train wreck. Even back in the 1990's - both of us took our concerns to our parents on what was happening - but.. Oh well...
I have no idea about anything with anyone else here - and I don't want to start a 'thing' in that regard. Just that giving a 16 year old a $40k brand new car stuck a nerve with me and I wanted to share a perspective from what I saw happen in my situation... that's all...
Oh, -
and I saw this headline here that caught my attention as well....