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Nice writeup.
Everything you said about the Tesla aligns with my experience. Surprisingly pleasant and relaxing on long drives (although a bit too much road noise and wind noise) yet holy-sh!t-fcuk-balls zippy when you're in the mood to play. It excels at two things that are at opposite ends of the spectrum and are normally an either/or decision.
The handling is only meh, but somehow it works just fine for street driving. I think the throttle response and instant torque are probably a bigger factor in overall enjoyment than the amount of torque. The massive torque is fun but I actually don't floor it all that often. Lots of folks have said that the RWD version has noticibly more lag so that would be a big disappointment.
Your M3 description confirms with why I never understood that vehicle. It has an identity crisis. It's half big family car, half sports car. But rather than being the best of both worlds, it's a compromise at both of them.
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