I'm a big fan of the RS3 and from driving my son's A3 I really think it is an amazing car so the RS3 has to be worlds better !! We have 2 cars with the S-tronic transmission and the shifts are instantaneous ... it is a REALLY great transmission but OTOH there is no manual available which I know is a downside for you.
I think you might want to drive one first to see how the S tronic is programmed which I'm sure is more aggressive than our A3 & A ... my brother has the DCT in his E93 M3 and it engages like a manual. It has some hesitation and bumping around which IMO makes it fun.
Is the Alfa 4 door available in a manual ... it might be something to consider.
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