But, seriously...

You can't see a lot of physical impediments. After my dad's heart issues were diagnosed, he was given a placard. If you spent a few minutes around him at that point, you wouldn't have no doubt he clearly needed it. But, if you saw him getting out of the car, he was someone you would have summarily judged to be abusing the system.

My mother, OTOH, has had placards/tags since having a massive stroke over 35 years ago that she never fully recovered from. If you saw her getting in or out of a car, you'd think "that's who handicapped spaces are made for."

What often happens, though, is she'll go somewhere with someone other than her driving (and she hasn't driven in over six years), park in a HC spot, put the placard on the mirror, go into the place, and if the spot isn't right at the door, whoever drove her will get the car and pull it around to the door so she won't have to walk as far.

If you saw me getting into the car, you'd think, "that dirty cheating motherfucker," but what you think you're seeing wouldn't be what you're actually seeing.

To make it more complicated, sometimes, we'll get to a place and she'll want to be dropped off at the door. Then, there's a call to make...park in a HC spot because she may insist on walking to the car instead of being picked up or park in a regular space. I've been told different things about the legality parking in the spot under those circumstances, but have never looked at the regulations around them in the places we've been, so I don't know. [PBA card joke here? Too soon?]

I don't mean to sound insensitive to those who seem ok but have real issues. I was primarily complaining because my view is colored (to the detriment of those above) by what seems like rampant and indiscriminate issuing of tags. And nobody, it seems, has plates anymore. They just get a little tag to hang from their mirror.

In NJ it is one or the other. So if you ever might need to be driven somewhere by a friend (and don't want to do a car shuffle), you need the hang tag.

As far as "questionable policies", in NJ, the rule is that the person the tag or plates was issued to needs to be able to present the accompanying ID card upon request. So if an able-bodied person gets in a car displaying a HC tag in a HC space, they could be asked by police to explain themselves. Saying "I'm going to pick up the tag holder at the entrance to the supermarket" should be valid. Saying "the tag holder asked me to drive to the market and bring them back some groceries" isn't.

I have the card because I need it. I didn't bother getting the discount fare cards for the transit systems I use because I don't need to save half the fare - what I need is access to seating. Apparently I look like I'm in bad enough shape that people sometimes offer to give their seat to me, when I'm not even looking to get a seat.

If you want to see use (and abuse being NJ) of a system like this, see Union City. The popular Mayor & State Senator Brian Stack deals out permanent handicapped spaces (for a specific license plate) like candy. Many blocks have several. I have a friend who live across from a family that have two, essentially granting two deeded spots in a busy, urban area... I'm sure many are genuinely helping folks. I do think there is quite a few of them given out as favors or, once earned historically, never go away. My friends neighbors have "heart conditions"; they often stand and smoke right by their parking spot.