British car fans!

[Doug]

You need this product!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4554570060&fro#ebaypho tohosting

[Jason C]

Q: My and my Jaguar's salvation might be found in your genuine Lucas Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke Kit. Please tell me whether I have deduced correctly, from your description, that this genuine smoke will pass concour d'elegance standards. I have been attempting to have a 100 point car in national competition and, yet, invariably the judges deduct a point or two for non-original wiring smoke, which leaves a tell-tale visability when it backs up through the electrical wiring and contacts into my original Lucas head-lamp bulbs. A 99.99 score will not do, so please tell me whether your NOS OEM kit will solve this problem? Cheers!

A: You can rest assured that this unit, properly maintained, will produce nothing short of Pebble-Beach grade concours smoke. I recharged the wiring in my EX182 clone using this selfsame unit, and my Lucas Lemans headlamps are still as clear as a Lawyer's conscience. However, if residual non-concours smoke is still trapped in the wiring, I cannot be responsible for contamination of the fresh Lucas smoke. The wires my be purged of old non-original smoke by reverse-polarity connection of a battery charger to the circuit in question prior to refilling the circuit. This should be entrusted to a proffesional, unless one isn't handy, in which case, an amateur will do. Please complete and return the disclaimer that is furnished with the unit.

Q: Will this smoke kit also stop oil leaks on British cars?

A: No, nor will it bring about Middle east Peace. Some things just ain't going to happen, my friend.

Q: I see that you have already had one negative feedback. Could this be the result of your misrepresenting an auction item? How can we be sure that this is THE authentic Lucas smoke kit and not something you've quickly assembled from spare parts and is not likely to be up to specification. Come to think of it, most Lucas items were not up to specification, so maybe this is, and therefore is an imitation. I'm confused, please let me know your answer before my smoke escapes.

A: I imagine the proof would be in the pudding. If, when hooked up, it doesn't function properly, it must be the real thing! Your logic is impeccable!

Q: I live in California, long and widely ballyhooed as the land of the fruit and the nut, where it's illegal to smoke indoors almost everywhere. Will this kit cause me to be arrested and my Jaguar impounded for smoking in indoor parking garages?

A: One must first ensure that the wiring harness has been repaired, so the smoke stays on the INSIDE. CARB is probably watching your car anyway. Since you own a Jag, preliminary testing should probably be done in a nearby Red state.

Q: I'm afraid you've become trapped in a classic Joseph Heller conundrum. You assert that this is an authentic Lucas part and offer substantial testimony that it works and is effective in many applications. It would seem impossible that it could work and also be a genuine Lucas product.

A: This is known as the Nuffield Paradox. It can't be helped. It is the reason BL finally adopted a clenching sphicter as their corporate logo.

Q: Is this the type of smoke one would use to blow up someone's ass? If so I'll bid. I'm running low.

A: It seems the British motor trade did that for decades, so this must be the same stuff.


Q: I'm a little skeptical about this being a genuine Lucas product . . .If it were real, wouldn't it be leaking?

A: See the discussion of the Nuffield Paradox belong. This ground has been covered already.

Q: Where would I mount the Smoke Kit in my Mini? There's certainly no room under the bonnet, and the boot is filled with a large tool kit, spare tire, extra spark plugs, points & condensors, spare coil, baling wire, duct tape, 5 quarts of 20w-50 Castrol, tow strap, jumper cables, one gallon jug of 50/50 antifreeze, spare fuses, wire stripper, 20 foot roll of 16 ga. wire, electrical connectors, large roll of electrical tape, a Haynes Manual, and a Book of Common Prayer.

A: You need the half-pint (Imperial) model. By the way, carrying all that kit of spares is just asking for trouble.

LMAO

[kognito]

:lol:
I guess the bidding is over 1K because of the NOS?? :lol:

[JetBlack330i]

I don't get how these pranks work.
He sets an auction for something stupid. Bidding goes wild (it's at over 2K now). Unless that crazy Golden Cassino wins the bidding, most likely the winner will default.
The guy still has to pay ebay a percentage of the winning bid (about $60 as of now). That's an expensive prank, no?